HAIR REMOVAL 101

There are many ways of eradicating fuzz - whether it's legs, pits, *ahem* muff or anywhere else that you want to be smooth and hair free. As hair removal is a part of the majority of people's beauty regimes I feel that it has a place on this beauty blog. I was in two minds as to whether to actually publish this post initially - after all it's very personal subject for some people. However, there could be a good laugh in it so I'm publishing it anyway...

SHAVING

This is the easiest and most pain-free method there is. Shaving seems to be the most favored of all the methods I'm going to list. I know I prefer it. The trick is to make sure you shave your legs as soon as you hit the shower or bath. This is when the hairs are still at their most 'rigid' and therefore the razor will pick up more of the hair than it would if you let them soak for a bit and get 'soft'. Always use a clean and hygienic razor blade (no rust ladies!) and make sure you clean the razor head after you've used it, otherwise if you accidentally cut yourself (easy enough to do) then it will get infected. This is probably the easiest way to tame your 'muff' too but be aware you will have to be slow and careful otherwise, if you slip, it's going to hurt.

HAIR REMOVAL CREAMS

Before I go on any further I would just like to say - do not use this on your muff. It will cause all kinds of stinging and problems, depending on the brand, as no hair removal cream is intended for 'internal use' and that includes down there... Nevertheless these products do work on legs somewhat. I've never found one that works on my legs but then my legs, left to their own devices, resemble a Sasquatch's. I would probably say that if you have finer hair than this is the product for you. You leave it on your legs whilst you shower (it smells foul to me - there is just something horrible about it) and then use the crazy spoon-shaped tool that comes with the pack to scrape the hair off. Ta-dah! Smoothie smooth.

WAXING

There are two ways to wax: salon and at home. I would say that neither are guaranteed to yield amazing results. If you're booked in for a salon wax make damned sure that you are comfortable with the therapist you will using and that they're properly trained. Not only that, make sure they give you a skin test with the wax a short time before the appointment (even if it's just a tiny bit on your arm hair) so that you know you won't be having any allergic reactions. Always make sure they tell you about after-care too. As for at home? Well, there are plenty of choices but none that I would instantly trust. I say that because I tried to wax my muff when I was 18 for a date I was due to go on (third date by the way - you know the rules!) and I ended up crying down the phone to my then-best friend. She had to run round to my house and remove it for me and thus became the only woman that isn't medically qualified to see me au-natural as a 'grown-up'. The date was subsequently cancelled as I was walking like John Wayne for about a week afterwards.

PLUCKING
Eyebrows count as body hair and obviously the most common way of maintaining the Caterpillars is to pluck. It's not pain free so I always numb my brows with some ice cubes first to try to escape the pain a bit more (I'm such a whimp). Beware though - over plucking is not something you want to be doing. Plucking damages the hair follicle and eventually the hair simply won't grow back - and your eyebrows will be stuck like that. If you think you have brows that are too thin because of plucking then grin and bear a few months of looking slightly 'bushy' in order to get a professional to shape them for you. It's worth every penny to have them done properly. Another note on plucking - I know someone that actually plucks their muff. Yes. I too have just crossed my legs and winced. If you think this is a potential method of grooming for you I wish you all the luck in the world (I tried it on one hair once - never again).

THREADING
This is an Indian technique that provides amazing results. It uses thread to gently skim the skin to trap individual hairs and remove them. It's kinder to the epidermis so it doesn't do as much damage as plucking can but when I had this done I had to have my sister hold my eye open for me as I was in a lot of pain. I have never had eyebrows that looked better though in all honesty. Maybe the pain is worth the amazing results? That's for you to try and decide on.

EPILATION
I own an epilator and have only ever used it once. Dave heard me screaming and thought I had done myself in on something upstairs. No, I had simply tried this on my leg. It went shooting across the landing rather quickly and has resided in it's box ever since. Epilators are effectively lots of very small tweezers all working at the same time. Some women swear by them but I don't really understand why (each to their own).


ELECTROLYSIS
Out of all of the hair removal options I've listed this is the only one that I haven't tried. I'm a little bit scared of it, to be frank. A trained practitioner passes metal probes, the size of hair follicles, over the skin which then are pulsed with electric, dislodging the hair from the follicle and therefore removing it. Depending on the patient's pain thresh-hold there are different levels of settings for the power of the electric used. Personally I'm going to leave this only for the very brave - I wouldn't make it out alive if I tried it, would I?


And, as there has been a lot of talk about muffs on this post (no - I'm not a sex pest I can assure you) - here is a picture of one for you all! Enjoy!